As important it is to acquire the right information that is specific to your goals, and it’s just as important to move out of automatic behaviors and into conscious understanding, or unlearning. Sometimes success comes from what you learn to stop doing, but it takes hard work. It requires an attentive vision for a different business life, one that is at a deep level of self-love. There are a few behaviors that we all need to unlearn in order to become effective and transformational leaders.
Pleasing
Striking that balance between doing too much or doing too little is a learning process, but once that middle ground is found it becomes a place of true value for yourself and others. The need to please others comes from fear of being rejected or fear of not being good enough. Unlearning this behavior allows us to build self-confidence and feel worthy of belonging. From there, we can become strong, positive leaders in our companies and the world at large.
Loose Boundaries
Communicating healthy boundaries creates clarity, security, and order. Loose boundaries create dysfunctional organizations. An effective leader sets a clear framework for everyone in order to set his or her team up for success.
Not Speaking Your Mind
Holding back from saying your truth creates negative emotions inside the withholder, deteriorates relationships, and weakens the health of your organization over time. Speaking up is an important form of honesty. Honesty builds trust and demonstrates commitment to the process and the people involved.
Avoiding Failure
Many people have a desire for success but an unwillingness to fail. We want to avoid the painful feelings that can accompany failure. When your mindset is to avoid failure, the strategies you use are ultimately shortcuts, trying to just do the techniques without bothering to understand them. When your strategy is to aim for success, you want to know exactly why you’re doing these things and when the best times are to use the techniques you learned.
Negative Thinking
The way you think determines whether the results are positive and beneficial, or negative and harmful. When something bad happens and we attribute negative meaning to it about ourselves, we may be heading for a downward spiral. If a potential client or investor says, “No,” don’t take it personally. This doesn’t mean that your project was bad or that your idea wasn’t good enough. Don’t overanalyze it, instead, plan what your next move will be to achieve your goal.
We all need to work on our bad habits one at a time and, as we improve, personal growth becomes a self fulfilling prophecy!